Hawaii is America’s paradise. One of the most popular vacation spots in the world.  If you are planning a trip there, however, there are some laws and customs you may want to be aware of.

  1. No Double-Fisting

When in Hawaii, it is popular to visit the local drinking establishments.  Be aware though.  State laws state that you can only have one drink in front of you at a time.  If you feel you can only be satisfied with two or more drinks at a time, just take a six pack back to your room.

2. Fish, Again?

This one is more of a rule (or warning) than a law.  When traveling to some countries, you are warned “Don’t drink the water”.  In Hawaii the warning is “Beware of the SPAM”. Most of you already avoid the canned meats at the market (because, YUK).   Hawaiian’s loves their  spam and are the country’s largest consumers of this……stuff.

3. No Bathing Suits Allowed

If you are walking the street of Waikiki you’d better cover up or you could find yourself in legal trouble.  It figures that this law either came out of a sense of public propriety or jealous husbands.

4. Don’t Eat Your Second Wife…Wait, WHAT?!

One of the state’s indigenous Polynesian people, the Orakama, is very careful to insure the safety of the women who get married. They have declared it illegal to eat your second wife. Whether or not that same rule works for the first, third, or any subsequent wives isn’t for sure.

5. No Cat Ladies in Hawaii

This one is just cruel.  It is illegal in Hawaii for a private residence to have more than 15 dogs or cats.  Apparently, Hawaiian Legislatures have see one too many horror movies.

6. People of the Sea

There is an active state law that states that you can be fined for not having a boat. Of course, this one might actually take care of itself considering the state is actually split into a bunch of little parts scattered around the ocean.

7. No Wandering

At one point in the state’s history, they must have really discouraged aimlessness because it was illegal to actually leave your house without knowing where you were going. This kind of seems unfair, to be honest. After all, when the beach is never far away no matter where you are, wandering sounds like an incredible past time.

8. Don’t Bother the Pigeons

According to public custom, it’s inappropriate to annoy any bird who’s lounging within the limits of a public park. That’s ridiculous, of course, because if you’ve ever seen a pigeon, you know they’re just asking for it. I guess if you have some pigeon angst to work out outside the parks, they’re fair game, though.

9. Behind the Ear Tattoos Are Forbidden!

Unless an actively working doctor is in attendance, Hawaii has outlawed its residents getting a tattoo behind their ear or on their eyelid (why would anyone want to get a tattoo on their eyelid?!).  Now if they can outlaw tongue piercings, they will have something

10. Don’t Feed the Sharks

Do we even need that rule?  That’s like saying, “Don’t swallow a hand grenade”.  Anyone who thinks it would be cool to provide that kind of enticement to one of the world’s most efficient killing machines kind of deserves wat’s coming to them.

11. The Double Standard

In Hawaii, it is apparently illegal to ride in the back seat of a car without wearing a seat belt (common safety).  However, it is perfectly fine to ride in the back of a pickup truck with no safety equipment at all.  Hawaii apparently has a very strong pickup truck lobby.

12. Twins Are Never Allowed to Work Together

According to state law, it’s illegal for twins to work for the same company. I have no response to that!

13. The No Coins in the Ear Rule

Do you remember that old trick that your grandpa or uncle did where they pull a penny out of your ear?  It would make you long to see more magic tricks (done to someone else).  Well there is an official law against coins in ears in Hawaii.  I guess you will have to stick to the ever classy sneezing a coin out of your nose trick.

14. Pidgin – “Language of Emotions”

English and Hawaiian are the official languages of the state, but there’s also a mash-up of these two tongues that’s been evolving ever since the 1800s as a result of the influx of new people to the state. This hybrid pidgin/creole is considered the “language of emotions” and it’s spoken by a large portion of the state’s population (though they’re also English speakers).

15. Billboards Are 100% Illegal

We could learn a thing or two from Hawaii.  It is illegal to post any billboard sign in this tropical paradise.  Great idea, unless you one of those that thinks that a good anti constipation add beautifies the lush scenery.

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